13 jan

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    Pasados más de 10 años de aquella noche con despedida de soltero a la que siguió la boda y posterior – mucho tiempo después
    – divorcio. En el imaginario público, aun perduraba
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    Era de suponer que estos debían atender a pensionistas que el gobierno de la
    nación, los había condenado casi a la indigencia, olvidando que a
    estos, también se les ponía dura y que de cuando en cuando les apetecería, tocar algún culo, aunque este tuviese
    50 años. Estaba claro, que los culos de sus mujeres, tenían más
    de 20 años, que los del club. Y encima, algunos ya no estaban para saltos de armario.

    La que no tenia artrosis, había perdido el vello de su chocho,
    como también los había que querían que se las tirase algún joven que
    después de terminar volviese a empezar; y esto, aquellos pensionistas
    ya no lo lograban.

    Cuando entraron en el local, que olía a perfume de bajo precio
    comprado en las tiendas chinas, solamente quedaban 2 clientes
    tomando una consumición en el mostrador. Casi era la hora de cerrar.
    El que llevaba más litros ingeridos de agua de fuego, –
    como decían los indios americanos en las películas y refiriéndose al whisky – acercose a la dueña del prostíbulo que estaba al final de la barra para preguntarle cuanto les cobraría por
    cerrar la puerta del club, quedándose ellos solos con sus pupilas hasta que se cansasen.
    La dueña que ya arrastraba sus 60 años con más penas que glorias, le dijo que aquello les iba a costar 2.500€.- Ella sabía que ni con una semana lo sacarían. Como los
    2 clientes que allí había no llevaban idea de marcharse les
    ofreció no cobrarles si se iban.

    Ya con la puerta cerrada, y las luces exteriores también poniendo la música de maquina a todo volumen empezaron a bailar con aquellas señoras que ejercían el oficio más antiguo de la humanidad y que tal como
    se iba calentando el ambiente e igual que sus clientes acabaron bailando desnudas.
    Incluso la muy veterana dueña se añadió a la fiesta.

    La pobre, a la que ya se le caían los pechos como si fueran peonzas, mantenía en buena conservación un culo como los
    que pintaron los clásicos hacia varios siglos.

    Ella fue la que primero recibió en este la primera estocada de la noche.
    Después, sus pupilas hicieron lo mismo. Cuando ya llevaban vaciadas más de media docena
    de botellas de champan, al más aguerrido de aquellos clientes.
    Se le ocurrió la parida de la noche, eso sí, que la actora de aquella
    escena se dejase fotografiar con el whatsapp, aún que fuese de espaldas.
    La elegida aceptó encantada; nunca…. Nunca en su vida, tuvo una petición como aquella.
    Todo y que había conocido a lo más florido de la especie humana.
    Esta, en la única mesa que había en el club, y ayudándola
    a subir en ella, para que no volcase la pobrecita, cumplió admirablemente
    con la petición de aquel cliente, aunque eso sí, le costó un poco.

    Agachándose y en cuclillas encima de la mesa tanta fuerza, hizo que
    se le escapó un pedo más que memorable de raros olores, para después soltar
    la gran cagada. Por detrás, el cliente de la petición pudo
    hacer varias fotos para la posteridad. Todos los que allí pudieron observar aquella obra maestra,… todos, aplaudieron a rabiar.
    Quizá de haber estado allí el gran Dalí, hubiese
    podido pintar un lienzo posiblemente de incalculable valor, por ser más bien único.

    Una de las colegas de aquella, cargada de champan y más contenta que un ocho,
    como tenía necesidad, de hacerlo, se ofreció a repetir la escena.

    Para que todo quedase bien en las próximas fotos, entre dos sacaron la mesa por la puerta trasera en donde había una manguera con agua a presión y la lavaron.

    Después, se repitió la esplendida escena. Subieron a la chica a la que la vejiga ya la
    apretaba fuertemente esta casi no tuvo tiempo de agacharse, se le escapó como
    un torrente toda la carga, tanto… que salpicó al fotógrafo de turno que tenia detrás cámara en mano.
    – el olor que deprendió tan fuerte era que al perfume
    de los chinos con que limpiaban el local, lo barrió como un vendaval.

    Esta vez, además de la manguera tuvieron que recurrir a la fregona para recoger lo del suelo.
    Después en donde tiraban un litro de aquel liquido perfumado chino,
    tuvieron que tirar 3 botellas de 1 litro.

    Pasados más de 10 años de aquella noche con despedida de soltero a la que siguió la
    boda y posterior – mucho tiempo después – divorcio.
    En el imaginario público, aun perduraba la célebre noche de las grandes cagadas.

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